so i havent done one of these in a while and i thought i would just take a second to come and reflect on this past year i guess? i won’t do it the same format as before because nothing really exciting happened but here goes!
to me, junior year was a disaster. i went through changes with my friend circles and drifted apart from people i thought would be my closest friends forever until i die, but it was barely halfway through junior year and we already almost stopped talking to each other. i became indifferent (not because of my friends but just because junior year was so difficult) to school and ended up losing my motivation to go to school, to go to dance classes, to do my homework, to study, and just everything in general, and i just didn’t feel like doing anything even though i continuously worried about grades and colleges. however, as i made different friends who worked so hard and were so diligent, i compared myself to them (in a good way i think!) and improved from my slump and worked harder, both at school and at dance. also, throughout the year i worried about my appearance and about guys (as usual) and would do everything i could to appear happy and outgoing and as perfect as possible in public even though i truly felt like shit inside. ap chem wasn’t going so well for me during the year and i felt like i was disappointing my parents and that i wasn’t reaching their expectations, which were even lower than what they had for my sister. i felt so stupid and felt so much like a failure and i was so sorry to my parents for having such a stupid daughter when they deserved a better child who got better grades and treated them better. i think that now, at the end of the year, i’ve realized that i’ve done as much as i could and did everything to the best of my ability, and what i’ve got is what i’ve got. i’ve learned to accept that i may not excel in some aspect of my education, but i’m better than others at other areas of study, such as performing arts. i’ve come to believe now that having a career in performing arts is not a lower standard than being a doctor or engineer, and that as long as you enjoy what you do, you are doing yourself a great service and you truly push yourself to your greatest potential. and it is through doing what you love that you can make an impact on the world.
it’s time to go back to studying ;; for my last two finals and two sat subject tests, let’s go!!
it’s so rare that you meet someone who makes you feel so warm and happy like they are like sunshine and you just want them around all the time
things to start doing:
- drink more water
- carry a camera everywhere i go
- read more books than i already do
- go for walks
- do yoga more often
- go to bed earlier
- enjoy the little things
- go outside more
- stop comparing myself to others
- stick to my goals n stop putting things off
- write down my feelings
- smile more, especially at random people
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
2. Stop putting yourself down, and attacking yourself with your own thoughts and words.
3. Don’t reject compliments. Instead of automatically brushing them off, recognise that what has been said is true.
4. Deliberately affirm yourself throughout the day with positive statements like “I am a valuable person; I am unique and have talents and gifts; I am likeable and loveable.”
5. Surround yourself with positive people who can see, and affirm, your worth and value. At the same time, avoid critical and negative people who get a kick out of putting others down.